BaD BaD N tOo BAd

wat happen to me tis few day....
i always forget thing...
many times liou i forget where i put my thing...
example...
-i lost my english 3, so i have to recopy that book... nvm but after few month i found bac tat book...
-i leave my bio book in the class,walk half way to tuition onli rmb...
-leave my phy text book inside qm room but i thought i got took tat book bac home n i find until crazy...
-siew bee ask me to pass the "majalah sek" to tuition teacher but i totally forget when i reach tuition centre. i onli realize when i finish my class. Not onli tat, i also tertinggal de book at qm room....
and today i lost my bio book...
yesterday i bring de bio book to martin but i forget to bring bac...
i duno where i leave my book...
many important notes is inside de book...
onli leave less than 2 month...
de exam is coming, but now the time i lost my book,,,
should i buy de new wan,,, but also no use cos all my note lost liou...
damm sad lo when i lost tat book...
cos i use tat revision book more than other book...
de 1st revision book tat wrap myself...
de revision book tat i like to take it to everywhere...
is my fault not take care my book,,,,
now sad also no use liou la...
will my book found bac after spm???
cos many thing i lost will onli found bac after few month or few years...
i really hope tat i can found bac my book!!!

today play badminton wit friend...
still hv fun time wit them...
atleast v can play badminton after few month dint play liou...

after tuition when to lou poh house to discuss de proposal...
act i already no mood liou de cos my bio book la...
but wat to do, the proposal need to finish within tis week....
sori my friend....
today my temper a bit bad...

i really duno how to face my future la...
i duno how to control my temper!!!
i duno how to work wit other la!!
i just noe how to menyusahkan n depend on other...
wat can i do after my spm...
how my life will be in future
if my attitude still not change...
argh...
i very hate my self la....
i onli like to say
but no action de

myself is changing....

haiz...
tis few month i feel tat my behaviour is changing
sometimes i very hate myself
i dun und y i will behave like tat...
i have done many thing tat i hate other ppl do but i dunno y myself doing de same thing
i am same wit them (the ppl tat i hate)
i dunno y.....
i noe i had make them angry...
sometimes i also angry n hate myself
i cant "tahan" myself
i dunno how other can tahan me
as myself aso cant
everything i do,,,,
everything i say,,,
really nonsense n useless

i am not the SAME CPY anymore
i am not tough and strong as last time...
i am not brave anymore

how to do thing without hurting ppl???
how to understand ppl???
how to make other happy???

tis year i really dun understand myself...
is tis call exam stress or i really become bAD...

i noe nobody will und tis...
cos ur not me...

special day

today is our skul de "hari keusahawan and pertandingan permainan"
i got involve in both activity
our qm club sell many thing...
before tat, during many meeting abt the hari keusahawan i dun like it...
cos the way they meeting just like borak-borak onli
so i n xin ni just wait until the final decision and onli v talk abt those thing can work ornot......
sumore teacher is very "muntah darah"(in chinese)
cos many thing she say to us is already consider she bincang v us liou
v even no chance to "bincang" with her she already make decision
but she wil tell other tat she already bincang with us!!
really swt lo!!
but lucky today everything run smoothly...

my games...
tis year i also represent my rumah sukan to play volleyball
each year i aso chosen to play the volleyball competition
from form 1 to 5
n each year aso lose in 1 round
but tis year our home can get the 1st runner-up
walou.... unexpected
even our teacher aso terkejut
cos she already happy when all players comes today
she aso dint expect v were won this games
although not the winner la but 1st runner- up aso good la cos our homes always lose in 1 round de.........

after skul, i teman lou poh go to sb to take her shoe n v do homework at there...
until 2.30 den v went bac to church to have our meeting...
another surprise is my 1st proposal approve by officer wor!!
i dint expect it aso lo cos myself aso dun like tat place tat i do for the outing proposal... for me tat place quite sien ar.. but no choice cos i dun no where else i can do sumore tis proposal is last minute do de[every time also like tat de -last minute work- same like de second proposal...]

at night, super sien ar
having dinner in the hall
very hot,very noisy, very sleepy
sumore very expensive wor
haiz,,wat to do...
just sit at there n sms,play games,listen song lo

today my feeling is happy,anxiety,n sien plus tired n sleepy