My HeaRT iS CryinG

Sad...SAD..sad...
i reli feel moody tis few day...
from de camp til now...
feel like dun wan to talk to anyone
wish im alone all the time...
just no feel....

TO SUMONE:::"U"
i noe i hurt "u"..
im soory...
i reli dint play "u"...
im duno wat im thinking...
im duno wat im doing...
"U" tell me be4 tat "U" scared to be hurt again
be who noe the one who hurt "U" is me...
i noe u hate me alot..
but de onli thiNg i can say is just SORRY
im not sengaja to hurt u...
i duno how to tel u wat im thinking...
i duno wat i should do???

IM SORRY,,,,,,,
I LOVE "U".......

LaWataN SambIL BeLAjaR

Today 13/12/08
today is my 1st time to interview a job
can u believe tat??
will u go to interview a job tat u duno
wat is the job,where is it,n everything aso duno de??
haha...YES,i'm going to interview de job..
wat jobs???
DUNO!!!

Today i wake up at 9.xx(thx for lou poh calling)
den get my self ready..
i hv make my hair smart-smart de but i forget later i have to wear helmet...
finally my hair mess liou.
den ok lo, den waiting ppl to bring me to the office
i aso dun believe tat i dare to ride other ppl car....
keke..(de person tat i duno)
den after 30 min i reach liou damansara(uptown)
de company at there...

after reach there,they introduce de office to us
and explain wat r the work they done...
tat time i feel like having lawatan sambil belajar like primary skul
to museum... Tat bored!!!
de boss keep on talk, talk abt their work...
den wat can i do since i already coming,,,
almost end tat time,he onli tell us the salary
de best part is,he is not saying our salary but he is saying his salary 1st
den act all the ppl tat go interview aso cant accept de salary cos too low liou
but tis is a job tat u sure wil learn many thing...

the job is an engineering jobs
the thing tat v need to do is drafting
draft some building , and some roads...
but trained not need to do tat de la(i think la)
(just helping gua)
the salary is low cos v dun hv basic mah...
DE work tat v need to do is ok de!!
it quite good aso
cos u can learn how to draft a building or roads in comp,
u wil noe de structure tat needed to built a houses
how de built is make and so on,,,
today can say very bored but gt learn many thing la
at least i noe more details abt engineering lo

haha...duno y i suddenly i rmb
last time,i joke wit wan shen tat mayb in future
one of the building in malaysia is make by my me de le!!
tat time i stil rmb v king abt our future
cos i duno wat to do after spm(til now aso duno la)
Do u think de day wil coming???
The building is design by me le???
haha...Who's noe??

Should i go to try for 3 month??
(since i duno wat i am going to take after result out)
how if de job is not suit me le??
if wan also dun hv transport wor...
plus de salary is so low..
how le...
so fan la;;;

my holiday wit an injured leg

MY 2008 ended wit injury...
haha... yesterday is my 1st time c doctor in 2008 le...
i seldom c doctor de lo..
but tis time cant escape to c doctor liou cos my leg gt bacteria infection
my leg got some yellow fluid n bengkak cos de leg become red
n there are some blood clotting inside...
i just give de doctor c my wound, he already noe sure fall down from motorbike
keke... geng le...
he ask me sleep on the bed den help me wash those dirt...
oh my god,,, tat time reli pain lo...
he tear my skin out le... i wan to scream de but dun wan la(so malu)
den i hv to tahan lo...
after tat doctor apply some iodine den bandage the wound lo...
N ask me to come bac to open the bandage after 2 days...
i think tis is my 1st time i need to c doctor 2 times a week le...
den also got injection lo,,,
haha, i thought wan to c how the doctor inject de but doctor ask me pusing belakang le... suan lo den my dad thought i scared wor... cheh i also dint scared...
but duno y wor....
after when home my hand tat get injection wor pain n no energy le...

i just like separuh koma...
half of my body is pain de le
from my left hand to left leg...
now i like org cacat...
walk aso cant slow like tortise le

after 2 years study thought can enjoy de
but enjoy wit de stupid pain leg la...
but one good thing is i not need to do house chores
wakaka...

A new wOrlD BEGIN

SPM almost end liou...
means everthing have to change liou
from study to work(just part time)
i cant decide my future le..
tat thing later onli decided la
now is de tie for me to hv fun
but my leg....
today i learn motor with my bro
starting ok de but duno y suddenly i cant control my motor
so fall down lo
my leg now bengkok liou
very pain ar...
de 1st time already accident
duno i will continue ornot....

all my plan hv to cancel liou like go swimming, play badminton n many
menyesal to play de motor today
but wat to do,thing already pass...

today i geng lo wake up at 2 pm
already long time din sleep till tat late liou...
so song...
kekeke i thik this holiday everyday i also wil sleep till tat late de la
but now hv to kemas my room liou lu
if not, my mum sure kill me de
spm time i like king in de house
not need to do anything....

LaSt hOLiDAy bE4 sPm

another holiday start from today till next wed...
tis is reli de last holiday lu...
no more holiday for us liou...
de time reli RUN very very fast
soon Oct will gone and Nov is coming,,
means tat SPM is coming....

almost all my classmate is change liou...
last year de 4 intan n tis year de 5 intan aso de same
super noisy, super playful, n super lazy
all the teacher sure complains wan...
but today,,,
even no teacher, our class is so quiet except those indian girls la
mayb deepavali cuming gua...
today even akik is more noisy den us,,,
geng le...
tis reli exam de environment...

next week seminar start lu...
reli buzy tat week,,,
already fell tired even de class haven start yet!!!
how to tahan ar???

My jOurNey tO the WeST

starting yesterday is another holiday for us
tis can consider our second last holiday b4 the deepavali holiday
need to appreciate tis holiday wor,,,,

tis holiday i will hv new challange
tat is stay at serdang home ALONE...
WAKAKA,,, wat is the feeling of living alone???
so wonder?? i hope can go there early,,
so tat i can start my revision over there
at home i reli cant study
cos gt many temptation
such as computer,tv n many many thing...

so i reli hope tat i can study at there...
hope my journey to there going well n everything i plan reli work
heeh....
i rmb last week i go there wit ym n ws
v can hv fun at there n v reli can study at there lo...
v study den chat den continue study....
v study at midnight n sleep in the morning
den evening is our relax time...
v play badminton,ping-pong,swimming
tis time i cant play badminton n ping-pong liou
cos alone at there mah..
play wit who wor???
hehe...

ReLaX dAY

yesterday just finish my trial exam...
tis is my last exam b4 the real spm...
the time really run very very fast,,,
now already end of sept n oct is coming
our exam onli leave one month...
i really really ned to study liou

exam time:::
when de 1st time sitting exam tis year at hall really feel "kei sui" la
imagine 90++ sit at the same hall to do exam le
but now already biasa lo
cos tis de second time mah...
i rather sit at hall than inside de classroom...
cos can c wat other people doing mah...
u will notice tat those action is funny de lo
sumone will sleep,play de pen,drawing,sneeze also got...
i rmb my friend n i curi marker pen at hall...
cos v wanna use when v do revision mah...
haha...
at tis worse thing happen at tis time exam is
no teacher can catch de girl whom tiru during exam
although almost all de student at the hall noe liou
she n her friend reli sucks de lo...
papar 2(essay) aso can tiru...
memalukan de form teacher n her classmate


now de trial exam end liou mean SPM is comING
HAIZZZ,,,
LUCKY today can have rest to charge my battery
n tomoro continue study,tomoro got seminar
today quite sien la...

PASAR MALAM:::
AFTER long time din go pasar malam finally tonight i go
cos normally sat got gb de mah...
after so long dint go liou, all de thing almost de same...
onli got few gerai is new la....
wakaka
today i reli fish lo...
today my mum wan to make spare key so go t the gerai to make lo
when waiting, sumone call me...
i try to took out my phone de
den i need to change all the thing into one hand lo
suddenly one of the thing drop liou...
my ICE JELLY AR....
den i fast clean up de thing tat can use la
my ice jelly touch de floor liou,so i dint take lo...
den i tell my mum lo
she scold me...
she say always so lun jun de
hehe,cos i always broke her thing mah
so when bac to buy de ice jelly lo....
geramnya....hv to buy again....

holiday time:::
stating today is raya holiday...
bcos de camp delays liou so v decide to go to my house at serdang lo
hope can play n study at day
at there no adult,no one will kacau u study de,
plus got air-cond wor...
hope can n enjoy de study time....

BaD BaD N tOo BAd

wat happen to me tis few day....
i always forget thing...
many times liou i forget where i put my thing...
example...
-i lost my english 3, so i have to recopy that book... nvm but after few month i found bac tat book...
-i leave my bio book in the class,walk half way to tuition onli rmb...
-leave my phy text book inside qm room but i thought i got took tat book bac home n i find until crazy...
-siew bee ask me to pass the "majalah sek" to tuition teacher but i totally forget when i reach tuition centre. i onli realize when i finish my class. Not onli tat, i also tertinggal de book at qm room....
and today i lost my bio book...
yesterday i bring de bio book to martin but i forget to bring bac...
i duno where i leave my book...
many important notes is inside de book...
onli leave less than 2 month...
de exam is coming, but now the time i lost my book,,,
should i buy de new wan,,, but also no use cos all my note lost liou...
damm sad lo when i lost tat book...
cos i use tat revision book more than other book...
de 1st revision book tat wrap myself...
de revision book tat i like to take it to everywhere...
is my fault not take care my book,,,,
now sad also no use liou la...
will my book found bac after spm???
cos many thing i lost will onli found bac after few month or few years...
i really hope tat i can found bac my book!!!

today play badminton wit friend...
still hv fun time wit them...
atleast v can play badminton after few month dint play liou...

after tuition when to lou poh house to discuss de proposal...
act i already no mood liou de cos my bio book la...
but wat to do, the proposal need to finish within tis week....
sori my friend....
today my temper a bit bad...

i really duno how to face my future la...
i duno how to control my temper!!!
i duno how to work wit other la!!
i just noe how to menyusahkan n depend on other...
wat can i do after my spm...
how my life will be in future
if my attitude still not change...
argh...
i very hate my self la....
i onli like to say
but no action de

myself is changing....

haiz...
tis few month i feel tat my behaviour is changing
sometimes i very hate myself
i dun und y i will behave like tat...
i have done many thing tat i hate other ppl do but i dunno y myself doing de same thing
i am same wit them (the ppl tat i hate)
i dunno y.....
i noe i had make them angry...
sometimes i also angry n hate myself
i cant "tahan" myself
i dunno how other can tahan me
as myself aso cant
everything i do,,,,
everything i say,,,
really nonsense n useless

i am not the SAME CPY anymore
i am not tough and strong as last time...
i am not brave anymore

how to do thing without hurting ppl???
how to understand ppl???
how to make other happy???

tis year i really dun understand myself...
is tis call exam stress or i really become bAD...

i noe nobody will und tis...
cos ur not me...

special day

today is our skul de "hari keusahawan and pertandingan permainan"
i got involve in both activity
our qm club sell many thing...
before tat, during many meeting abt the hari keusahawan i dun like it...
cos the way they meeting just like borak-borak onli
so i n xin ni just wait until the final decision and onli v talk abt those thing can work ornot......
sumore teacher is very "muntah darah"(in chinese)
cos many thing she say to us is already consider she bincang v us liou
v even no chance to "bincang" with her she already make decision
but she wil tell other tat she already bincang with us!!
really swt lo!!
but lucky today everything run smoothly...

my games...
tis year i also represent my rumah sukan to play volleyball
each year i aso chosen to play the volleyball competition
from form 1 to 5
n each year aso lose in 1 round
but tis year our home can get the 1st runner-up
walou.... unexpected
even our teacher aso terkejut
cos she already happy when all players comes today
she aso dint expect v were won this games
although not the winner la but 1st runner- up aso good la cos our homes always lose in 1 round de.........

after skul, i teman lou poh go to sb to take her shoe n v do homework at there...
until 2.30 den v went bac to church to have our meeting...
another surprise is my 1st proposal approve by officer wor!!
i dint expect it aso lo cos myself aso dun like tat place tat i do for the outing proposal... for me tat place quite sien ar.. but no choice cos i dun no where else i can do sumore tis proposal is last minute do de[every time also like tat de -last minute work- same like de second proposal...]

at night, super sien ar
having dinner in the hall
very hot,very noisy, very sleepy
sumore very expensive wor
haiz,,wat to do...
just sit at there n sms,play games,listen song lo

today my feeling is happy,anxiety,n sien plus tired n sleepy

MY GRandMother

Today after skul, me n sc accompany ym to post-office...
after that i went to tuition,when i reach tuition centre
i surprise lo, when i saw the white board...
i wonder y dun have bio class de...
haha.. Den I ask the kerani,den she say "teacher got khusus wor"
wakaka.. happy cos not need to tuition n can bac home early..

when reach home,after finish take bath...
my mum ask me to bring food to my grandmother tat stay near my house
although so near but i seldom go there...
when i go to her house,she just finish take bath n haven wear shirt..
she have difficult to wear her shirt,so i help her la...

after that i prepare the food for her...
help her to do many thing tat i seldom do...
den wait her finish de dinner...
during tat time,i really dunno wat to talk wit my grandmother...
den i talk some nonsense to break the ice lo....
den i cut some fruits for her...
N also help her urut her leg,hand, n body..

when i help her wear shirt i saw many 'lebam'
yesterday midnight she fall down from bed...
so i think is the kesan of yesterday la...
her hand got black lebam den i help her to urut until become red...
when i urut her de time, she say many thing la...
got 1 thing when she say make me feel sad ..
she say she very menyusahkan orang lain..
cos she say she cant do thing on her own n sometimes also cant walk her own..
den she say v(the whole family include my aunt n uncle) was buzy..
i noe y she talk like tat cos v seldom when to her home although very near except
my mum n dad.. v as her grandchildren, all also seldom visit her la...

when she talk, i just quiet...
i just continue help her urut...
after finish,i just sit down la waiting my mum..
cos my mum say she will when down after she finish her thing
den my grandmother wan go bedrooms from de dinner table..
she has difficult to walk especially the first step...
den i wan to help her...
den she say "NOT NEED"...
"IF I DINT TRY MY OWN NOW DEN HOW I WALK WHEN NOBODY AT HOME"
wow, my grandmother so geng...
i noe i should have tis kind of thinking...
Den my grandmother put many effort to walk the first step..
after she make the first step den she can walk fast...
wow,,, i saw her struggle for the first step until she walk to her bedroom...
this show tat first step is very very important...
i think many thing when i saw this situation...

after i wait so long den i went home lo;;
den i saw my mum eating dinner...swt,, eat so long
after my mum finish de dinner den she when to my grandmother house,,,
when my mum come bac then she say my grandmother
puji me... she say me very "pandai urut wor"
cos black lebam turn to red lebam liou..
hehehe....
my grandmother seldom puji people de lo...

VeRy tiRed + VeRy hAppY

many thing happen this week...
got happy,sad,boring,angry...

tis week really tired...
on monday---our exam start again(haiz sien ar)
after skul v got perbarisan practice
on that day i reli angry lo
when v have our practice,de renjers buli us lo
i know v r small group,n they have huge group
but not need to buli us like tat de lo..
they do it in front of they junior,
the next day i saw they junior kacau(buli la) other ppl
tis tell me tat wat we do,other junior will follow..

tuesday---rehearsal day
the sport day rehearsal start...
very hot,tired and sleepy...
today i actual dun no tat some of the renjer kacau us during rehearsal
when someone told only i noe..
tis make me more angry n hate those renjer girls
the rehearsal only half day
after recess,continue exam...

wednesday---FULL REHEARSAL
v all need to wear uniform...
early in the morning, find all the uniform tat borrow from de ex-gb girls
den check all girls de uniform
den de rehersal start...
after recess,continue exam..
when i do the exam, i really wan to sleep liou...
too tired gua n lazy to read de exam question
after skul end,continue practice
fm and sc go to buy thing for de perbarisan...
v all lepak at the canteen until 4.xx gua
den went home...dint go tuition...

thursday---whole day exam
from skul start v got exam till de end of the skull
quite sien la...
den tuition lo..

friday---Perjumpaan ibu bapa + hari koperasi
today no exam!!
today many parent come to take their daughter report card..
but my parent dint come cos i dint tell them
v all just do de sepanduk for gb
last minute work...
today i really angry with those sesi petang girls lo..
come early to skul but dun wan to join de practice..
when train them,they show de masam face...
just wan to slap them..
den after practice
continue de sepanduk thing..
v do until 4.xx
when going bac de time, i n sc saw smth tat v crazy liou
some of the girl will practice without us
walau...
den they end liou,v go bac lo
after tat go to ym house pass thing to her...
den i n sc go lepak at mamak n the store until 6.xx

sat---SPORT day
TODAY is my last sport day in secondary skul
but v got a good memory...

QM duty finally de last year liou..
tis year not much to do liou..
but tired aso la
cos need to go many place..
walk here walk there...

our GB MARCHING WIN LIOU..
V GOT 1ST PLACE...
V SO HAPPY until shout loud,take pic,make call to announced good news.
second is v bet the renjer girls..
when i c them cry,i dint feel sad at all
i just rmb de face when they buli us
today i really happy,,,
i wan to shout de but no place
i reli cant believe tat v r de winner..
cos v always practice also not many girls will come
v also can say v last minute onli choose ppl...
so really really happy lo...
after that when to summer wit sc
later ss join us..
v lepek until 6.xx
den go to the store to cut hair lo
den go home...

SUPER HAPPY DE LAST SPORT DAY!!

HoliDAy eNd liOU...

when skul start,every thing bac to normal...
all need do homework,listen those teacher blek-blek infront
prepare for exam,continue tuition,do revision...
tis is the life of student???
wat ever la...
just few more month to go onli...
so just try our best...
whether u like it or not just do it la
(as someone say)

tomoro skul start...
haiz...
need to wake up early...
bac home late...

tis holiday run very fast
i dint rest alot(play la)
wat i plan aso din work de
i was so disappointed...
but wat to do...
im de wan how plan those thing
im de wan who dont follow it de...
cant blame other!!

today last day of holiday...
i sleep until 2.45pm..
geng le..
but i sleep at 3.xxam le...
today i dint do anything
although still have homework haven finish yet...
just no mood to do homework since de holiday stat

the sky is the limit

today just like normal....
10.50 got class so need to wake up early..
yesterday i tersilap ingat...
i think our class start at 9.30 so i need to wake up at 08.00 lo
so early wor...
haha,,,
lucky i check bac de timetable...
the class start at 10.50...
den i went bac to sleep and wake up at 9.30..
i dunno y...
those day i dun not wan to wake up until de last second...
tis make me always late and not punctual at every activity..

today when i went to biology class..
the teacher told us one story about japan bamboo...
tis is a special bamboo,
it has seed..
and japanese tanam the seed to get the bamboo tree...
it take 5 YEARS to see the stem...
during those period it need to sprinkle it with water and soil need to fertilize...
those step need to repeat every day...
if not the seed will die...
after 5 years the bamboo tree start to grow very very fast
the height of the bamboo can reach very tall...
the diameter also very big....
[i forget the height and diameter liou]

the moral behind this story is we cant reach the sky in one day...
every work that we do must constantly and be patient..
the teacher say v need to do our hw/revision constantly...
and v must be patient cos the exam is coming and more and more stress will come
v must rmb today u work hard...
tomorrow u will be succeed..

i duno whether the story is true ornot but i hope i can use the moral behind the story to push up my spirit to continue study...
this year strangle a lot with my self...
i duno wat im thinking...
it make me hard to concentrate on my studies
but lucky it seen better now...

my diary

22/5----thursday
the day has reach liou....
finally exam end liou...
happy n sad....
happy cos exam is over n holiday is coming
sad cos really difficult to accept wat answer i wrote on exam paper..
i duno whether i take so many tuition is useful ornot...
SPM left 6 more month onli
haiz....
===========================================================================================================
23/5----friday
today is teacher day...
when i reach school canteen is saw siew bee very worry
she worry ws will come late or sleep late wor...
den i teman her until ws come...
den ws help sb balut de hadiah for teacher..
ws ask me to balut de bookmark for miss hor de
den i say i dunno how 2 balut mah...
so i balut lo den i kena marah...
i already told her tat i duno how to do but she still angry me..
at tat time really wan to kill her lo...
after finish liou,perhimpunan start lo...
when rehat de time,v when bac to class
shin wee play her hp n take photo...
many "yong sui " picture she took
v play in de class until perhimpunan start...
after end liou... got drill
i duno wat happen to me...
all my command wrong liou....
de most i remember is 1 of de girl say me very teruk
she say she even better than me...
she mayb rite than im teruk but i already try my best to learn..
i know im slow learner but bcos of her word i tell myself i cant let she look
down on me... moreover she is under my group..
i reli wan to kick her from my group...
her kes suan liou... dun wan to care...
after eat lunch wit sc,ws n ym
i go jusco wit ws..
i wan to buy short pants but dun have de kind i wan..
later v go carrfour buy ws de sleeping bag...
den v go to the store...
when bac home i take lrt...
after reach liou i decided to call my dad..
i only have 20cent syling la...
1st i call my dad hp but no1 answer so suan..
2nd i call my house phone den my bro say no1 free to fetch me...
so i need to wait bus lo...
after i wait for 30min i can tahan liou...
i very tired liou, i want to bac home...
so i decided 2 call my dad once more times
but no syling liou...
so i do smth very memalukan
i go to each of the public phone to find syling...
so so lucky... i found it...
den i call my dad, later he come n fetch me
wakaka.. the worst thing i done for the day...

=========================================================================================================

24/5---saturday
today got bac gb...
quiet bored cos many dint bac gb meeting today
onli ws,vanessa,csc,me got go...
end meeting go yam cha wit ws...
suddenly wonder y every times v all go yamcha sure rain wan
but today dint rain wor...
at nite....
ready to pack thing.. going to gbsl camp
but 1.00am onli start packing..

==========================================================================================================

25/5 till 28/5----sunday till wed
wake up late liou...
so late for yam cha wit sc,ym,n ws...
after yam cha, me, ws n ym go to take lrt to sentul...
after reach liou...
so weird cos got 1 guy ask us go in the church...
but his hand call us come but he make sound tat halau us..
kaka..
go there early, so v need to help to clean the place lo
1 funny thing...
got one girl call officer as "aunty"
den v all swt liou..
and many girl call officer as teacher cos their r school bass de..
during de camp not many thing tat i learn but i learn how to communicate
wit other tat i duno them...
many new friend i make...
tis camp make me und more abt myself...

yesterday,sat...
as wat have plan last week...
all go early to church to practice band for pess enrolment...
the performance is still ok...
but need to practice hard for the coming week..

after the band,v go to eat our lunch..
v chit-chat at there...
i think tis can reduces our stress due to exam..
n help to closer our relationship
cos v just meet one week 1 times...

after that fion,sc,n me borrow conference room..
den v start our revision...
inside there v not onli do our revision..
sc already sot liou tat day
she climb the table,play de window,sit on the table..
sot liou le...
but i think she is very stress liou la
hehe.. so funny think bac wat she do..

after a while,v go to brigade room 2 continue our study
cos the bb need the room...

after tat around 6pm
v got meeting abt de enrolment day the thing
at tat meeting...
i heard smth tat i feel weird..
abt jenifer..
i cant imagine those word tat she say do lydia..
i thing she alreadi change liou..
i relly duno y she become like tat lo
after tat v continue at mamak...
at mamak v heard some problem face by a leader::our capt. pui yee
become a leader is not easy..
so all leader work hard lo..
keke^-^

SuFFer dAy

onli leave 3 more day..
our exam finish lo...
BUT
tis 3 days is the most suffer day
bcos is de most difficult paper
(i think la)
so need to work hard lo...
try ur best,,,do ur best,,,
aiya.. think tis way la..
after exam holiday wor...
den can relax lo...

tis week, i really "geram" wit 1 person
she is "pengkhianat", "penipu", "pengampu"
i really wan to noe y she do those thing lo...
how can she does this...
she dun have brain n heart de wor
bcos of her; other person is suffer...
if i can wor i really wan to kill her...
besides, the teacher also de same...
cant he think abt his student..
study for so many years until duno wat MBA..
but also de same...
duno how to think for other person de..

Dun no y,today i really "geram" lo...
as everybody noe china is facing "gempa bumi"
really sad when see the news...
many is suffer,,
the kids,,,
the old person,,
the ladies,,
even the man also need to face those bencana...
haiz,,, so cham,,really cham,,,
but
still got country fight with each other
2 get benefit and show their power...
wat kind of world is tis...
someone is suffer here,someone is having war there
cant their think of other person
having war is just waste of money, n time
many will death too...

this teach me when do thing must thing before...
thing of the "kesan" first...
haha
i usually din think before do thing de
then i will menyesal de...
kekeke...

my diary

today sat normal lo bac gb...
haha, today i sleep late again...
so late bac church lo i thought ym n ws sure scold me 'kau kau' de
but they just say onli..
they already normal liou cos i always late de..

before band time, captain suddenly talk abt pess enrolment...
talk abt our duty on tat day..
den say tat v hv 2 prapare for dance...
oh no i say in heart...
cos i noe i not good in dance
scared make de dance not nice n many thing la...

when ready for band roll call,,,,
suddenly saw sl bac..
den i wonder y she can come out during tis time..
den i onli noe tat NS got holiday de wor..

band time...
play cymbal..
be4 tat i really got mood to play cymbal
(after c de video)
but everything aso de same...
but today i got little bit like back my band
means i got little spirit in band
hope tis can continue la...

after class den got drill..
walau tired....
although only drill about 30 minute
because de punishment lo...
1 is 10 times push up
den second time 40times push up
almost all cant tahan liou when until 20 times
but punishment is punishment
u need to do it...
lucky all also able to do it...

after meeting den go mamak...
v talk abt de school enrolment...
walau so beautiful if wat v think can able 2 to it...
when parade got band play by ours gb
so yeng..

at home..
when im eating my dinner suddenly the bell ring
tis means tat my grandmother got problem
so v all rush to her home
den say her sit at de floor
she just fall down n cant stand
den my dad n mum help her lo
when i saw my grandmother a kind of feeling come out
duno how to say
she really change a lot
a few years, she still healthy
she was fat last time...now thin
last time her sound can be so loud especial scold people
now her sound is very very soft
i cant understand wat she talk..
is really scared me...
lucky she is ok...
hope she will well soon...

tis few day is exam day...
like usual la exam day, all concentrate on studies..
so less time chatting wit family n friend...
i dun no y tis few day i feel strange...

many nonsence thing come to my mind..
tis make me so stress...
although those thing is nonsence..
BUT
it keep "fan" me..
tis make me cant concentrate on my studies anymore..

today, i feel tat..
i hv less time communicate wit my family
de bond wit family is not as strong as last time..
less communication wit family member...
each time i bac home..
i dunno wat to chat wit them..
especial with my dad..


yesterday i argue wit my sis abt de light
i noe yesterday i was wrong
but i still pretend tat i'm right
i noe i was stubborn
although tis is not de 1st time i argue wit my sis
but duno y i feel very sorry to her
maybe now mature liou..(hehe)
noe how to care ppl liou..(sometime onli)
SORRY ar 'jie'


i noe my mum is very very tired..
but i din help her...
i always use exam as 'alasan'
my mum noe tat i got exam so she
din ask me to help her
i really selfish..
i won't do thing when no one ask me 2 do
although my mum is very tired...
i din even help my mum do housework although im free
i feel tat im useless....
i din help my family when they need help]
i feel sori to them...

i noe wat i should do
BUT I dint do it!!!!
haiz.....

i should change my behavior now....
BEFORE TOO LATE...
I HOPE I CAN DO IT...

im useless person.....